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By Angeline Acain
Annually for four years now, the New York City Administration for Children's Services and Center Kids host an Adoption Fair for lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgenders (LGBT) interested in foster care and adoption. Held at the LGBT Community Center in Manhattan, the fall event regularly features a speaker panel of gay and/or lesbian foster and adoptive parents and their children. City foster care and adoption agencies are invited to table, allowing an opportunity to meet with agency representatives in person and gather information. A pleasant surprise at the last Adoption Fair held in November was the new Deputy Director of Parent Recruitment for the New York City Administration for Children's Services, Karey Scheyd (see photo), introducing herself to a packed room of attendees and coming out as a member of the queer community.
Having the notion that Scheyd would be of interest as well as an advantage to readers of this publication, I interviewed her at the start of the year. Charming and attractive, at age 27, Scheyd is influential in her profession and noteworthy in the local queer community.
Conservative upbringing, coming out, and lesbian moms
Originally from New Hampshire, Scheyd, the daughter of a religious father was raised in a traditional catholic environment. "My upbringing was limited in a world-view way," says Scheyd. "There was very little diversity, racially, culturally, and ethnically. I grew-up a mile away from where my mom grew-up and where my grandmother still lives." An only child, she says her entire family, politically, and socially is incredibly conservative.
Scheyd attended Mount Holyoke College located in western Massachusetts. "Moving out of New Hampshire was an eye-opening, mind expanding experience. I chose a college that was diverse and progressive. I wasn't out before attending college but I knew I was different than my conservative upbringing; I gravitated towards liberals and was fascinated by gay culture. The stereotype of women's colleges having a significant LBT community was true at Mount Holyoke, there was a queer force on campus that was an influence and a comfort as I explored my sexuality," says Scheyd.
Upon entering her first serious relationship with a woman, Scheyd then 20, came out to her parents. "Senior year in college was pretty rough as a result," says Scheyd. "More open minded than my dad, my mom and I have become closer over the years. My mom says she doesn't care so much about grandchildren; she just wants me to be happy. I generally don't talk with my parents about my plans for having children. What my future family might look like? My dad just doesn't go there. Although, my parents are still in a process of accepting, they see me as a successful individual and don't make my sexuality their primary focus anymore."
Scheyd's early interest in gay culture had an indirect connection with her current career. During her senior year in college, Scheyd did a year of independent research on lesbian mothers. Her research subjects included adoptive and biological mothers and introduced her to foster care. In the second semester of her research, Scheyd honed her focus on two non-biological mothers each in a relationship with a biological mother. "I was looking at what they experienced. These women were being identified as the masculine partner and being grouped in with fathers in a Lamaze class. Another difficult issue was the biological mother's ability to bond with the baby through breastfeeding. Both sets of partners found ways to negotiate and balance the situation. For instance, the non-biological parent would be a stay-at-home mother so she would have extra time with the child. There was no overarching theory; I did research on a topic that was fun. It was also a fantastic personal experience because I was planning to be mother at some point," says Scheyd.
"Being excited about the work, I wanted to share my research with my mom. Plus I wanted her to know that I was not going through a phase. So while I was home for the holidays, I had my mom help me transcribe interviews of lesbian mothers. I wanted to show her that these were real people, that this could be my future. At that time I was very interested in having kids. It's funny, as I get older [laughs] the more unsure I am about that!" says Scheyd.
Majoring in psychology and sociology, Scheyd had an interest in social work as well. "I was told that if I wanted to get 'my feet wet' in social work, I should get a job in foster care," says Scheyd. Wanting to live in a big city, after graduating from college, Scheyd got a job at Talbot Perkins where she would once again connect with gay culture and foster care. Talbot Perkins Children's Services, now closed, had a reputation as one of the most gay-friendly adoption and foster care agencies in New York City.
The agency both employed gay staff and helped many in the gay community become parents. "Talbot Perkins was proud of their gay-friendly reputation. It really was an open-minded and safe place for different kinds of families," says Scheyd. "Its closing was really sad. Talbot Perkins was a small agency that relied almost solely on the funds it received from the city for its foster care cases. It could have sustained itself a little longer with other funding sources but overall I've seen so many agencies close since then, even larger ones that have been around longer."
NYC Children's Services, permanency for teens, and community based foster care
Scheyd thought her work in foster care would last only two years but says, "Child welfare sort of hooked me. There's so much work to be done." Prior to the close of Talbot Perkins, Scheyd had met managers and staff in the unit she currently works in at the New York City Administration for Children's Services. According to Scheyd, the agency's new commissioner is moving away from the commonly used acronym ACS to being known as Children's Services.
When Talbot Perkins closed, Scheyd interviewed for and was hired by Children's Services in 2002 as a coordinator for a program called Wednesday's Child. Each Wednesday, 5:30 - 6:00 PM, and again on Sunday, 7:00 - 8:00 AM, a child in foster care who is waiting for an adoptive home is profiled on NBC channel 4. NBC Meteorologist, Janice Huff, hosts Wednesday's Child. Scheyd worked with the Wednesday's Child program and other projects for two years until she was hired for her current position. As Deputy Director of Parent Recruitment, Scheyd is in charge of general recruitment and child specific recruitment.
General recruitment denotes the search for prospective parents who are interested in fostering or adopting or a combination of the two. Says Scheyd, "What we are looking for are stable, committed parents who can offer safety to a child regardless of the length of stay in care of that child in their home. We need families who will commit to a child whether the child returns to his or her legal parent(s) or is freed for adoption." General recruitment of foster and adoptive parents at Children's Services over the past couple of years has included a city wide marketing campaign called Today's Foster Care, which includes billboards, print, television and radio advertisements.
Child specific recruitment programs are Wednesday's Child, which Scheyd still oversees and a feature called A Child is Waiting. Every first Sunday of the month, the Daily News publishes A Child is Waiting featuring a group of children who are freed for adoption. The city's Parent Recruitment unit also features children freed for adoption on their web site at www.nyc.gov/adopt.
Children's Services responds to inquiries from ads placed by Adopt US Kids for their national adoptive parent recruitment campaign. Every year Children's Services hosts NYC Adopt, a recruitment event that attracts thousands of attendees as well as an Adoption Day event at Shea Stadium every summer.
Scheyd also helps coordinate a program called Families for Teens Speakers' Bureau. The program consists of teenagers who are looking for a permanent family or youth who were teen age when they were placed with a permanent family. The program also includes adults who have aged out of the foster care system without finding a family. These youth share their stories, speaking at various child welfare agencies and organizations such as Lawyers for Children. They also speak to advocacy groups and to prospective foster and adoptive parents. "Even if it is not legal adoption, we are interested in finding permanent families for teenagers.,” explains Scheyd who says that the foster care census is about fifty percent teenagers. She says there are about 20,000 children currently in foster care and close to half are age 12 and older. "There are so many harmful myths about teenagers that get in the way of people opening their hearts and homes. That's what we are trying to change by going out and having these youth tell their personal stories. The speakers' bureau is making an impact. At a recent foster parent orientation, a person said he originally wanted a child age 0 to 5 but after hearing the teen speakers, is now considering an older child."
One of Scheyd's top priorities is recruiting families instead of relying on the congregate settings where many older children are placed. She says, "When a teenager goes to a group home setting or residential treatment center, the reason should be that is a better placement and not because there was not a bed in someone's home. But there will always be kids who do better in a group home or congregate setting, even temporarily. Residential treatment centers are considered a higher level of care and youth who need it can receive psychiatric treatment and 24-hour care." An Individual can also receive special training to become a therapeutic foster parent for a child with difficult behavior. Many agencies have a program specifically for therapeutic foster homes.
For the past few years now, Children's Services began placing children in foster homes in the community district where the child is from. One benefit in this placement is that the child doesn't have to suddenly switch schools. Agencies, birth families and foster families in the same community district can also forge better relationships. The challenge is recruiting parents in the communities where the children need to be placed. "We want to make sure that the families roughly mirror the kids coming into care. We don't require that a child who is African American must be placed in an African American home but we try to match the kids as closely as possible to their own culture, religion and ethnicity," says Scheyd.
Community based placements pertain only to foster care. Foster parents are required to reside in New York City. When a child in foster care is freed for adoption, adoptive parents are not required to be New York City residents. Individuals or couples living outside of NYC should contact their local department of social services about the training, home study and certification process in preparation to adopt. "We put a good faith effort in matching children to their culture. But if we have two African American siblings available for adoption and a White family comes forward, can care for these children and are a good match, we will place them with this family," says Scheyd.
The Federal Law, Multi Ethnic Placement Act, states that no child should be denied a good home simply because an interested family does not match the race and ethnicity of that child. Adoptive families need to demonstrate their ability to meet the various needs of children, but do not necessarily have to be of the same race or ethnicity in order to do so.
LGBT Outreach
Outreach by Children's Services included a booth at the gay expo and a workshop for LGBTs at their annual parent recruitment event, NYC Adopt. "I've always been out as a queer person at work. I've received so much support from all levels of this agency that I could produce family based publicity materials featuring a lesbian couple for NYC Adopt, a huge city-wide event," says Scheyd. The Daily News feature, A Child is Waiting, openly states gay individuals and couples are welcome to adopt the featured children. On a national level, Scheyd also pointed out that The Child Welfare League of America and Lambda Legal Defense and Education Fund have formed a partnership to help lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender, and questioning (LGBTQ) youth in foster care. For more information visit www.cwla.org/programs/culture/glbtq.htm on the Child Welfare League of America's web site.
For about three years now, Scheyd has worked with a group of child welfare system professionals and Terry Boggis, director of Center Kids. Working specifically on recruitment and retention of queer foster and adoptive parents, the group, called The Network, created the annual Adoption Fair at the LGBT Community Center in Manhattan. The Network also assisted in creating an LGBT Circle of Support group. Designed to assist all foster and adoptive parents, Circle of Support groups located in all boroughs are also open to prospective foster or adoptive parents.
With dinner and childcare provided, each Circle of Support group is lead by a parent and a staff person from Children's Services. Except for July and August, the LGBT Circle of Support group meets monthly every third Tuesday, 6:00 PM - 8:00 PM at the LGBT Community Services Center in Manhattan located at 302 West 13th Street. "After a queer person agrees to be a foster or adoptive parent through the system, I've wondered if they were being treated well by agency workers. What if they are experiencing discrimination or just want to share their experiences with other gay parents?" says Scheyd. "What makes the LGBT Circle of Support group different from the other Circles of Support is identifying the parents. We don't have a database of gay foster and adoptive parents. We've been building a mailing list that is currently about 100 people but mainly we depend on agencies to spread the word. The LGBT Circle of Support group signifies the city welcoming LGBT foster and adoptive parents."
Another project of The Network is LGBT sensitivity training for agency workers. Formerly held at the LGBT Community Services Center in Manhattan, Scheyd said the Center training was not mandated and mostly attracted agency workers who were already comfortable with the LGBT community. She says a number of agencies already do their own sensitivity training and have shown interest in recruiting from the gay community. In addition, Children's Services has an in-house training center with mandated LGBT sensitivity training for all staff who work on child related issues. "It is city and state law that people cannot discriminate based on sexual orientation or gender identity. Of course this does not guarantee that discrimination will not happen. We plan to do a series of basic training designed specifically for child welfare staff at locations outside of the Center. They will learn about the gay community in terms of working with both kids and parents who are queer," says Scheyd who is also looking to collaborate with an LGBTQ youth action group so the training is representative of both youth and parent issues."
Although no program matching gay youth with gay parents exists, Scheyd says Children's Services is looking into that possibility. "I hope that agency workers put a good faith effort in trying to find safe places for queer kids in care," says Scheyd. There are currently three group homes that offer a program for LGBTQ identified youth, Green Chimneys, Safe Space, and SCO Family of Services (formerly St. Christopher-Ottilie). "Over the next year I plan to identify and create a resource list of LGBTQ friendly homes - they don't have to be gay parents - so LGBTQ identified youth don't need to depend on group homes. We could refer to this list and place them in a family instead of a group home setting. We know that kids do best in families and I want to make sure that these kids are not at a disadvantage of getting into a good family because they are gay," says Scheyd.
Foster Care Leads to Adoption
More people in the gay community are interested in adopting rather than foster care, and most are interested in adopting younger children. However, most young children in care are not immediately freed for adoption. "The process of terminating a parent's rights is very serious. In the last decade, legislation has been introduced to regulate and quicken the process but it is rarely done before a child is two years old," says Scheyd. Moreover, a large percent of children in care who are adopted are adopted by their current foster parent. "This is a bit of a challenge for the gay community who want very young children and aren't interested in fostering first," says Scheyd.
Most people in the gay community interested in adopting don't want to take the risk of being a foster parent because of the possibility of not being able to adopt the child in their care. However, Scheyd encourages the LGBT community to be open to foster care and help a child through to future permanency even if that means being returned to their birth family. Foster parents also have a better chance of being able to adopt the young child in their care. The certification for becoming a foster or an adoptive parent is similar. Even if a person only wants to adopt, until the finalization is completed, technically the person is a foster parent.
"I've helped gay and straight individuals and couples adopt very young children out of foster care. But you will find a placement sooner if you open your mind to older children and children with special needs," says Scheyd. "Until you agree to the placement, you are not committed to take a child. You can go through the entire training and home study and decide afterwards that maybe you are not ready for this and that's fine."
In addition to helping NYC's children in care, family building through the city is economical. Foster parents receive a monthly subsidy and many of the children who are freed for adoption qualify for a subsidy that can continue until they are age 21. "You get a monthly boarding home rate similar to being a foster parent even after adoption. You'd have to apply for that subsidy but if you adopt an older child most of the time you will qualify. All kids over age 10 qualify or sibling groups," says Scheyd. "Because it is the child welfare system, adopting is free of charge. It only takes a little bit of time to attend the orientation and the fantastic training program that will help you understand these kids and what they've gone through."
Moreover, if you are partnered, stepparent or second adoptions through foster care are paid for. "The agency you are working with should help you identify lawyers who will assist you through the legal process. Actually, there is precedence in New York City for two single same sex people to adopt the same child simultaneously," says Scheyd. "It depends on your lawyer and the judge but I know couples who have done it. And if it has been done before it can be done again." Scheyd says agency professionals will assist with getting clearances, paperwork, and completing your homestudy. Her advice is, "Don't over think before you take the first step. The system is set up to help you make decisions. Start the process."
Call Children Services Parent Recruitment Hotline 212-676-WISH (9474) or 877-676-WISH. Visit their web site at www.nyc.gov/adopt or www.nyc.gov/foster.
This article was published in New York Gay Parent Guide 2005-2006 (now Gay Parent magazine-New York). |
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